All I want...

...is to write about myself, the world, strangers and
Uncontrollable enemies, without reservation and with
No trace of pity in my voice
Learn to love (not only) all that I am (but)
All that I am not.

Let sweet, selfless adoration steep on my tongue
Between my lips;
I want people to watch as I do.

I want to study myself and be surprised/ amused at what I find
I want to cherish/remember/embellish all that I see and do.
I want to confuse and enlighten myself and others
I want to revel in imperfection/impurity
Without any erasing or even
Painting-over of.

I want to spell things rong.

I am in no position to
Impact or
Undo.

I want to absorb and agree and let unspoken-ness swell and make love to my silence with a reckless sense of parallel existence.

I want to be original and new and a direct result of the art that has been poured into me
Lacking reluctance, I want to kiss.

I want to start fresh every
Day or minute or second
To stop comparing and preparing.
To be myself, undiluted (yet perpetually impacted) by my surroundings
not my remembered emotion
By my loves and not
Recalled fear.

To suffer and orgasm each time with raw fumbling inexperience
To cry like I've never tasted tears.

I want to be ambitious and self-satisfied and obsessed and uncontrollable
Tame and tempting and inexplicably explained.

If I make my mistakes loud enough to hear
They will melt into the ‘creative process’ of rebirth and
Deconstruction
Instead of growing roots
I am not a permanent anything...

And I don't need to be.

Nobody's perfect.